Renovate or Separate (or, who the hell comes up with paint names?)

The title of this blog is courtesy of our good friend "Obamaman." I have yet to clear "Obamaman's" permission to use his real name in my blog, so, until I do so, he shall be known as such. Anywho, Obamaman came up with the idea that Ryan and I need a reality show to document the hilarity and drama that occurs daily on our homestead. The hilarity is mostly due to my quick wit and iron fist, Ryan's compulsion to placate me, and the roadrunner-like activities of our children. (meep meep) The drama is due to the economy, basilisks, and the exes, also known as "frexemies."Frexemies is a word I created to describe our baby-mamas and baby-daddies, due to their ever-changing status of exes, friends, and enemies. Sienna the cat is also responsible for a great deal of the events of this household, as she secretly controls the entire scenario.

The latest development in the renovating of "The House on Ry's Hill" (also coined by Obamaman) is the attempted selection of a color to paint the entry to the kitchen from the garage, and the main entry and hall. The consensus was a "warm-cool brown" as defined by Ryan, supported by his explicit knowledge of the color wheel, complementary colors, and his Prismatic pencil set that was used as evidence that there are warm grays and cool grays, and apparently brown is a warm gray. Uh Hum. So, my job was to go forth to Blowes, Homey D's, and Osh Kosh B'Gosh hardware stores to find the perfect shade of tan.

The first  gallon can was called "New Penny." Unfortunately, it should have been called "Tan in the store, pink at home." The next try, I got smart and purchased one quart each of "Rolling Hills" and "Old Cedar." On the wall, these were identified as "Diarrhea" and "Explosive Diarrhea." Not exactly the best color for the walls between the bathroom and kitchen. My quest to find the color that I sought  led me to create my own paint names. "Skidmark," Turkey Dung," and "Shower Mildew" references only caused confusion and smirks from paint center employees, proving to me that those who can actually identify paint colors are surely not those who name them.

Because when you see my kitchen, do you see "Caramel Dream," or "Construction Zone Ahead?"

Luckily, we like bright orange, and this is only the beginning of the journey we are undertaking to make this space our sanctuary. So, honestly,  either name applies.