Shoe shopping for Hayden and baby quotes

Skylar, Hayden and I went shopping for shoes today. The quotes were endless. It began in Kohls with

"Skylar, if you were large, I would call you Skylarge."

Two ladies in the slipper department overheard and tittered. (and by overheard, I meant anyone in the store could hear him bellowing)

Next, it was "Mom, do you know that if you mix two babies together, it makes pie?"

Leaving Ross, the kids asked to run along the cement bridge that runs between Old Navy and Ross. It's about 3 feet high, and Hayden is hesitant to walk on it, instead choosing to crawl. They play on it for a few minutes, and Skylar becomes a human beatbox, balancing on one leg and chanting her trademark nightclub bass beat, which sounds something like "boo-tsy boo-tsy boo-tsy." A dad brings his toddler girl over and holds her and while she waddles on the wall.

"Ack! I'm allergic to babies!" Hayden cries. "He didn't mean it to be mean!" Skylar yells over her shoulder to the parents, who crack up.

On the way to the car, Hayden clarifies that he's only allergic to babies if he eats them. What a relief!

We head to Mimi's for dinner. Our waiter, Alberto, is a young Latino with a well groomed faux hawk and carefully shaped soul patch-goatee project. Hayden remarks that he "looks nice" but wonders if he is actually as nice as he looks. After examining the menu, Hayden announces that "Back in the 80's, they used to make that." When Alberto is nearly done taking our order, Hayden says to me "Can I tell you something after he leaves?" upon which he whispers in my ear, " I think babies are fat. Do you?"

Skylar, who is Hayden's biggest fan, is laughing hysterically  the entire time. I tell Hayden he is on a roll tonight, to which he replies, "Good times, bayba, good times."

Oh, and he never got any new shoes, but Skylar and I did :)